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name:
BumbeaK the Genius
caste:
beta (dormant) monkey
last on:
503 days ago









snippet summary
Fred's Nerves
created: 06/16/08 2:36PM









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Fred, the leader, wasn't happy.

'I can't believe it, we'll never reach Hollywood at this rate.'
'You're lucky we got recorded in the first place,' answered Ellie, the second of the only two girls to join the band.

Scott and Edmund were packing up to leave, when Fred's mom came in with cookies.

'Bought us some time,' thought Fred. He'd remember to thank her later.

The afternoon was getting more and more humid, an invitation for Mrs. Ashmush to bring out the lemonade. Sounds of happy munching and glugging and chatting soon turned Fred's band into a periodic after-school tea party.

Even if Marcus came now, it would be twenty minutes before they settled down to play, thirty before everyone finished going to the bathroom, and forty before th e rehearsal was over.

Thrusting his drumsticks on the ground, Fred headed out of the garage and slammed the door. He picked up the phone and dialed Marcus' number.





14:41 EST   Jun 16th, 2008 – by BumbeaK the Genius
Made up a word. 'Glugging' should be in the dictionary... even if it's an onomatopoeia.



19:18 EST   Jun 16th, 2008 – by Fullmoonblue
I agree about glugging -- if glomb and glombing can become part of the popular lexicon, then so can glug. Nice snippet.



10:34 EST   Jun 17th, 2008 – by Chris Sadler
I like 'Glugging.' So much so that I didn't even notice it was not a word. It totally feels at home in that sentence.



13:43 EST   Jun 17th, 2008 – by pj richards
Why is Fred suddenly the main character? What happened to Jake?



00:07 EST   Jun 18th, 2008 – by Chris Sadler
Maybe Jake is a behind-the-scenes kind of guy, but Fred is the heart and soul?



21:11 EST   Jun 18th, 2008 – by pj richards
But Jake completely disappears in 'Def Leppard Retro-Rock, Dude'



15:00 EST   Jun 30th, 2008 – by Stan Peck
Just because you start out writing about a character, doesn't mean he's the main character. You can start with a pig dying in the streets, and then go on to the next character.



15:59 EST   Jun 30th, 2008 – by Fullmoonblue
Brilliantly put, Stan. (PS, I think Jake does come back further up the Def branch. Not that we care of course. Heh.)



18:50 EST   Jun 30th, 2008 – by Chris Sadler
I actually screwed up on that (The Def Leppard) one, and took Fred as the lead... My bad!















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