'Play around with my wife, would you?' a vicious voice snarled from the shadows.

'What are you talking about,' I said. Or would have said had my mouth not been stuffed with a day-old pair of socks and taped like an unopenable Christmas present. Instead it was more like 'Ruhh hur oo hahin hahote?'

I sat in a bright spotlight surrounded by impenetrable darkness. My wrists were chaffed raw--I'd been there a while.

'Oh,' the psychotic voice continued, 'perhaps a reminder?' Another spotlight snapped on to reveal a scared woman similarly bound. I'd never met her.