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name:
Justin
caste:
alpha monkey
last on:
70 days ago









snippet summary
Tidings of Tentacles
created: 04/09/09 1:15AM









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We Rejoin Our Hero...

The sky was grey. It was an ashen expanse of rolling and tumbling cloud that spewed large flakes of transient snow from its rolling mists. These flakes dove, heavy with moisture as they melted, straight towards the ground - as straight as the wind would allow, which was at a steep angle. They showered on the cold land, seeming to attack a tiny grey mouse that had just slipped into the cover of the forest.

The wind was less harsh amongst the lifeless expanse of grey trees long since divested of their leaves. Fergo was, perhaps glad for this slight cut in the wind, as traveling across the grasslands all the way from the Concrete Culverts in the Old City had been troublesome, even in the long grass.

And then again, the mouse was, perhaps, not glad for this change in terrain, as it meant his progress was dramatically slowed, as he had to clamber over and around all the branches that littered the forest floor.

He did so quickly, though, using the three-inch sharpened metal pin he carried for a weapon as an improvised tool to vault himself over obstacles whenever he had the chance.

Fergo had to get to the hollow at the heart of the wood - where the underground city of Coggly Hollow lay, and fast. Horrible things had happened at Darkwater Drain, and now Pipetown was under the shadow of a darker shadow. The menace was spreading through the Dark Culverts, towards the underground city.

It had to be stopped, at any cost. If Pipetown fell, the rest of the Old City would. And then the world.

That was why Fergo had been dispatched to Coggly Hollow - to get help from the city.

To get a hero.


Or two.
Two would be better.

Or even more.





01:25 EST   Apr 9th, 2009 – by Justin

READ THE NOTES: There's a few things to know about this world. Humans have existed in the past. They don't any longer. Small animals - Mice, rats, voles, shrews, rabbits, moles, badgers, weasels. cavies, wombats - are all 'intelligents.' Basically anything that burrows. That may have something to do with the obviously post-apocalyptic nature of this world. Snakes and lizards also exist, although they are witless and evil. Mice knights kill lizards dragons, etcetera.

Birds are also witless. Canines, Felines, and most anything else are practically nonexistant. Kiwis, chickens, and most ground dwelling fowl, etcetera, are used as mounts by the normal animals, much like a 'chocobo.'

Animals are normal sized. They walk on four legs, though they can use two, and their forepaws can be used as hands to use weapons if need be. Magic does exist in this world, though it is not 'pew pew fireballs.' It's subtle shamanic rituals, communing with gods, and summoning rituals, rain dances, ecetera. Some combat magic may be used, but only as a cherry on top, like in Return of the Jedi - a final moment of cool.

The villain. He's a squid in the sewer. Except that I should note that monsters can exist in normal forms here - tarantulas are a threat to mice, giant spiders. Rhinoceros Beetles are also big enough to be good disposable enemies. Ecetera. So an ordinary giant squid can be a nightmare. His name is 'Chew-Through.'

I think that's it for now. Ask about anything else, I'll answer your questions... and there's one major rule - NO HUMANS. There might be human technology left over (i.e., a grenade as a mouse nuclear bomb or something) but I'd like to keep that and any other technology to a minimum. NO HUMANS!





10:36 EST   Apr 9th, 2009 – by Chris Sadler
Okay, so my first question is: can I have Fergo befriend an adorable human girl in the next snippet? ... Sorry, I couldn't resist.



10:39 EST   Apr 9th, 2009 – by Chris Sadler
No, seriously, I like this set-up. This has great potential. Also, it's nice to finally have a new Tree on which to work. Good job, Justin.



10:54 EST   Apr 9th, 2009 – by Justin
Thanks a lot! I tried to set up an obvious course for the tree which would give a ton of freedom.



10:54 EST   Apr 9th, 2009 – by Fullmoonblue
Wow! Love the set-up, and this first snippet is terrific. The detail of the three-inch pin gave me this wonderful visual, like a mouse with a walking stick-cum-weapon... Great new story! :)



15:23 EST   Apr 9th, 2009 – by Justin
Thanks! .... I should also note to everyone in particular that this was written while I had writer's block as an attempt to get rid of it, so if it seems a little rough, that's because it is.



16:39 EST   Apr 9th, 2009 – by Lucy Australopithecus
Very interesting. I don't think have the capacity to write for this. My imagination just isn't up to it, unfortuantely.



19:00 EST   Apr 11th, 2009 – by Kate
Yay, Justin's long anticipated tree!!!! Can't wait, the concept is cool too, like a way way way way cooler version of Redwall. Much better, but same basic idea, perhaps? I don't know if you'll take that as a compliment or insult, but it is what it is. I'll do my best to add on, please tell me if my snippets are what you expected or not. Can't wait! Nice story. :)



21:20 EST   Apr 11th, 2009 – by Sienna
Interesting......(:



13:30 EST   Apr 16th, 2009 – by Thail Krider
nice twist on the watership down type of story.



11:26 EST   Apr 17th, 2009 – by R.M. Bray
I like it. Here i go to write....



01:00 EST   Apr 20th, 2009 – by Lucky Clover
It's intriguing. really. It really is like the Redwall series, and pardon me if you're sick of hearing that. It's really funny that everyone seems to have read it.. and so.. uhm.. good day



19:56 EST   May 1st, 2009 – by N.J. Arruda
Hah. It's like Redwall meets Final Fantasy. :) I'll give it a shot.



16:04 EST   May 4th, 2009 – by GINGER PIE
Wow, interesting



16:17 EST   May 9th, 2009 – by Camille Strauss
Hmm, a bit much to remember don't you think? I little to complicated for my taste, but whatever, I guess I'll take a look.



12:44 EST   May 10th, 2009 – by Justin
It's just a few basic guidelines to give you insight into a complicated world. I can link you to the full document if you want...



23:20 EST   Jun 2nd, 2009 – by Jeremy Gohier
Was wondering - can any of these animals read? (either human writing or their own).



01:41 EST   Jun 3rd, 2009 – by DArtagnon Wells
i was thinking a more badass version of Nyhm. justin, i'm interested in the ful document.



20:26 EST   Jun 4th, 2009 – by Justin

A) No, they can't read. At least all but a very select few, and I'd be careful even adding that...

B) Basically, you're right on that point, as much as I know about Nihm. No humans though, as this is decidedly more 'apocalyptic.' And I'd actually rather keep the document to myself, given that I still might write something based in this same basic world. Heh.





21:04 EST   Jun 4th, 2009 – by DArtagnon Wells
if the character i created, Gosheven, helps inspire you at all, feel free to run with it.



22:02 EST   Jun 7th, 2009 – by Justin
Thanks!



23:10 EST   Aug 5th, 2009 – by Marcia Black
Nice start! I enjoy how the names aren't something you'd here everyday!



19:04 EST   Aug 13th, 2009 – by Ken Bendo
Darn. Without reading the 'Can they read' part, I made a tree into a signpost. FORGIVE MEEEEEE..... Nice idea. Me has added to it.















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