One Million Monkeys Typing: A Few Cold Ones to Take the Edge Off It

name:	Harrison Bradlow
caste:	extinct monkey
last on:	207 days ago


	snippet summary A Few Cold Ones to Take the Edge Off It created: 12/19/08 3:22PM

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Not-So-Merry Christmas

'Another,' Santa grunted, jabbing his head in the direction of his empty beer mug. The bartender, whose nametag read 'Bill,' dutifully obeyed.

'Why so glum?' Bill asked, sliding the draft to the big man.

Santa didn't reply, so busy was he shelling peanuts.

'It's almost Christmas, pal,' Bill tried. 'That must cheer you up.'

How little Bill knew! This should have been Santa's jolliest time of year. Instead, he was on the run, hiding out in the most unlikely of places, constantly looking over his shoulder for those murderous, blood-thirsty Elves.

'You wouldn't believe me.'

	15:23 EST Dec 19th, 2008 – by Harrison Bradlow Glad I could get this one out before Christmas!

	16:50 EST Dec 19th, 2008 – by Birdscallin' Mudplop-Schwyn Goshdarnit! This was my idea! MY IDEA!!! Just kidding; congrats on a 5th story and happy nondenominational holidays!

	18:04 EST Dec 19th, 2008 – by Ryan I like the Idea have five bannanas

	19:05 EST Dec 19th, 2008 – by Kate 'The night, Santa went crazy. The night Kriss Kringle went mad.' (Weird Al Yankovitch) Nice idea! :)

	21:47 EST Dec 19th, 2008 – by Chris Sadler Now, THIS is my kind of story!

	16:34 EST Dec 20th, 2008 – by ElizabethP Elfilicious! Merry Christmas everyone.

	17:09 EST Dec 22nd, 2008 – by ICEE PI OOOOOHHHHH the weather outside (ain't) frightful, but the story ideas keep on coming! Nice one, Harrison ;D

	17:11 EST Dec 22nd, 2008 – by ICEE PI ...and I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to believe Santa would drink anything other than milk...

	01:49 EST Jun 26th, 2009 – by Paulina A. hahahha

	18:58 EST Jul 29th, 2009 – by Annette Turner Santa doesn't drink Beer

	21:46 EST Jul 29th, 2009 – by Chris Sadler So true. I've heard he's a straight-up Scotch guy...

	03:21 EST Aug 12th, 2009 – by Mowgli Quraishi oh we are in for a ride tonight.

	12:45 EST Aug 12th, 2009 – by Kole Outrageously ingenious. Thank you!

	12:34 EST Sep 28th, 2009 – by Owen can see you i like this and it's not even christmas

	19:53 EST Mar 1st, 2010 – by Nathan Lachow Owen, stories are for all year round. :) Especially monkey stories!!!

	20:34 EST Mar 1st, 2010 – by Chris Sadler And this Tree was first planted less than a week before Christmas, so it was kind of topical at the time.